Today will go down in history as The Day I Slammed Into The Back Of A Taxi.
So, I was a little late for an appointment. I woke up an hour later than I planned. Then panicked and hit my foot on the door frame in my quest to run to the bathroom. Ouch!
I washed my hair and soaped myself at the same time under the hot spray of the shower. Then I got soap in my eye and wiped it with a shampoo-sudded finger. Ouch, ouch, ouch!
I didn’t have time to dry my hair. I dressed quickly in a short pinstriped blue dress and pearl white pumps and legged it out of the door.
Don’t you just hate it when your late and everyone seems to be holding you back? Must be the Adjustment Bureau.
I glanced at the clock as I weaved through traffic. It looked like I was actually going to make it!
Then it happened. I got stuck behind a black taxi. The taxi stopped dead in the middle of a road to pick up a passenger.
I beeped my horn.
“Pull over!” I shouted out of the window.
The driver made no response.
I beeped again. And again. And again.
He finally moved off.
Then he decided to travel at the pace of a snail.
I swerved around, attempting to over take.
Crap, a fucking milk float! Weren’t they extinct??
I swerved back into lane, behind the taxi.
He was going seriously slow! I had to drive with my foot pressed on the bloody break.
I beeped him again.
I boot bumped him to a set of traffic lights. He stopped dead with no warning.
I’m telling you, the light was amber!
I bumped into the back of him. HARD!
I hit the steering wheel with my hand in complete frustration before yanking open the door.
“You asshole! The light was amber!”
A large bald driver emerged, red with anger.
“You smashed into me!” He yelled back. “It’s a 30 mile an hour zone!”
“Yeah so you go 10?” I spat back.
“Jesus Christ!” He glanced at the damamge.
It really wasn’t that bad a dent. I mean it looked bad, but I’m sure it could be hammered out ok.
“Look, what’s your insurance details?” He pulled out a folded piece of paper.
“Is this going to take long?” The passenger stepped out of the cab and raised his eyebrows in a sarcastic manner.
I forgot all about him.
“Some of us have places to go, you know.” He drawled.
I smiled at him sweetly “Excuse me. I didn’t realise that I was interrupting your two-day journey.”
“What’s your insurance?” The taxi driver asked again. “You got a pen?”
I excelled a breath of annoyance and stalked back to my car.
Seriously, I could have made the appointment. If only the idiot decided to do his job and actually drive. Some people should not be on the road.
I pulled out my details from the passenger glove compartment.
In hindsight, it may have been easier to open the passenger door to do this instead of leaning across the driver seat. The papers got a little stuck so I pretty much had to crawl through and yank them free.
I’m pretty sure I flashed my ass at the passing traffic.
But I was wearing black tights so… well it’s not like they could actually see anything!
Besides I was too angry to care. The stupid driver slowing me down like that.
“Can you both make this quick.” The passenger said arrogantly as I stalked back to the taxi driver.
I turned and studied the man.
He was close to his forties. Nice looking, in an old sort of way. Dressed in a black suit and a black business coat. Standing like the world owed him a living. Looking at me like I’d disrupted his life.
“I’m sorry.” I said sarcastically. “is there something stopping you from hailing another taxi?”
I stepped into the middle of the road and waved down an oncoming taxi. It pulled over to the curb.
“See, that’s all you had to do in the first place.” I threw at the driver, who was coping down my details.
The driver looked like he would quite happily push me into the path of the oncoming bus.
I marched up to the new taxi and yanked open the door. “Here you go Your Majesty.” I nodded at the passenger. “Its a shame you weren’t born with the brain to do that yourself, isn’t it.” I mused.
The passenger stared at me with a mixture of annoyance and amusement.
He didn’t move for a while.
Ok, mate, you can hop into the taxi now, I thought.
“You’re staring.” I informed him helpfully, when he still didn’t move.
“Don’t worry about it.” He said cheerfully. “I’m married and I’m not into crazy suicidal girls.”
He climbed onto the cab and I slammed the door shut behind him.
What a dickhead!
I walked back to the taxi driver to retrieve my papers.
“I’ve put my number on it.” He told me. “But that,” He nodded to the slight indent to the back of his taxi “is gonna cost a bit. The whole back’s fucked.”
“Fine.” I said shrugging.
“You ought to watch yourself, love.” He said. “You were driving like a loony. You got lucky it wasn’t the front of a lorry.”
“You were driving like a tortoise.” I counteracted. “I wouldn’t have had to drive like a loony if you’d just pulled over when you picked up the other idiot.”
He shook his head and handed me back my pen.
“Are you alright?” He asked slowly. “Did you… bump your head.”
He studied me for a few seconds before shrugging.
“I guess we’ll be in touch.” I nodded and began walking back to my car. “and…sorry.” I called.
He may be a slow coach but I shouldn’t have been so… bitchy…
I sighed as I slipped into the driver seat. I needed to calm down.
I took a deep breath.
ahhhh there we go! I smiled. Everything’s fine.
I started up the car and quickly swung around the taxi. No way was I getting stuck behind him again. Asshole!