Email Exchange Yesterday 4:55

Stoner: Hey, how’s your day going?

Me: I’m bored. Tell me something interesting. What have you been doing?

Stoner: I watched Homes Under The Hammer. Made a bacon sandwich. Watched Frasier. Then Everybody Loves Raymond. Then Come Dine With Me. Oh and I think I’m in love 😀

Me: In love? With who? Tell me everything! 😀

Stoner: I went out with this girl last night. Just to a bar. She’s something else. We spent the whole night chatting up other girls. Then we went back to hers and I fucked her.

Me: Chatted up girls?

Stoner: Yeah. I got there a little early and started talking to a couple of girls. She came and joined me and did the same. It was crazy. Like she was using them to turn me on. She brushed this blond girls hair out of her eyes and said “you have the most beautiful eyes” then she looked straight at me. It was like she was saying “imagine me and this girl doing it.” She kept doing it, so i did it. I started chatting up girls and giving her the same vibe. I swear, when we left we were so turned on.

Me: How do you know this girl?

Stoner: She’s a cousin of this guy I went to uni with. She came out to his birthday thing on friday.

Me: A cousin? Or an escort?? Did you check your wallet?

Stoner: Hey. Don’t diss my future wife!

Me: Did you even talk to her? Get to know her?

Stoner: Well we’re seeing each other again. You know me, I like to take things slow.

Me: LMAO!! Slow?? Seriously?

Stoner: She’s french. In france they’re a little more attuned to their sexual side. The have affairs and shit.

Me: No they don’t! Where does it say that?

Stoner: It’s common knowledge.

Me: Seriously, they don’t! So you’d be cool if your girl kept multiple lovers?

Stoner: Hell no! I’m just saying, the french are like genetically more into exploring sex. Nothing wrong with it.

Me: Ok. If you want to be in love with a girl that uses other girls to turn on a guy she barely knows then that’s your choice.

Stoner: Who said I was in love?

Me: You did! Read back! Plus you called her your future wife!

Stoner: Ok I got a bit carried away. But seriously Elise. You need to meet this girl. She’s gorgeous!

Me: Not sure if I want to meet her yet. I’ll wait until she stops getting off on girls to get you to get off on her getting off girls.

Stoner: Yeah, actually it’s probably best you don’t meet her yet. I don’t know if I’m ready to have you in the fantasy. No offense.

Me: None taken. I don’t want to be in your fantasy 😐

Stoner: Crap. Now you two are in my head! :O

Me: Ew, stop it!:O :O :O

Stoner: I’m joking 😀 I’m still thinking about her and the blond. And me. And her.  Man, I can’t wait to see her!