I sat at work yesterday feeling depressed and down.

I’m not happy working for anyone. The year or so when I formed a business partnership with Brother-In-Law was the best year of my professional life. So what if it didn’t take off like I thought it would. I made ends meet, didn’t I?

I looked around at the people I work with and thought “how the fuck did I end up here.”

Before I found Solicitor, work was my life. I worked closely with the MD of a smallish company. I had the heads up on new business changes and my opinion on business actually counted for something.

Through a series of unfortunate events I now find myself working in Marketing for a company big enough for people not to know each other.

I needed some advice. So I did what  I do every so often. I emailed Gay Boss (my old boss).

Me: Hey, I’m bored. I need help. I need words of motivation and inspiration.

Gay Boss: What am I? You’re agony aunt? You’re not as smart as I am, obviously, but you do have a brain. Might help if you bothered to use it once in a while. Amuse yourself.

Me: Thanks.

The kick up the backside still wasn’t enough. The others slowly drifted off to lunch and I sat where I was flicking a pen onto the desk.

My eye’s wandered over to Bitch’s desk. I stared at her PC for a couple of minutes. Then I did something I hadn’t done in years.

I checked the corridor and quietly shut the door. I swiftly walked over to Bitch’s PC and pressed ctrl alt del. The username came up with a request for a password.

I racked my brain. People are smarter nowadays. There’s always a number and a symbol in a password but the actual word is always memorable.

Her dog? puddles1!

access denied

hmm Puddles1!

access denied

One more try. If I don’t get it I’ll give in. I don’t want to lock the PC.


access denied.

Crap, I’m losing my touch!

I sat back at my desk. My mind was suddenly occupied and focused on something. I needed that password! I had no idea why. I just really wanted it.

I stood up and walked back to her desk and opened her top draw.

Holy shit what a mess!Is that a half eaten Twirl?

As I rummaged through I found a rolled up post-it note. puddleS*4

I knew it was the dog! There was a huge chance that it was an old password. I tried it anyway.

Welcome to Windows Desktop appeared on the screen

Wow, what a freak. Rule number 1: never ever write down your password.

I moved the mouse to the email icon.

I suddenly heard movement outside the door.

ctrl alt del lock

I walked towards the door and pulled it open. I smiled at Indian Guy as I passed, and stepped into the corridor in the direction of the toilets.

Yes, I know its wrong to snoop, but I was bored and I suddenly regressed back into being Young Elise. Young Elise who always believed that knowledge was power. Young Elise who always kept valuable info to hand.

I have the password. I haven’t used it yet. It’s just good to have.